There are huge problems in our country, actual crises: the pandemic’s seemingly unceasing tolls and its related economic shocks; racial inequalities; political divides; climate change effects seen in fires, floods and weather extremes among them.

These actually are not “wicked problems,” a term I often heard as a business reporter and in some quality management circles. The term seems to have originated in 1973, when design theorists Horst Rittel and Melvin M. Webber used “wicked problem” to refer to problems that are difficult to define and inherently unsolvable.

So, if we agree that these problems can and need to be better addressed, even solved, can civility–a communications dynamic that’s also been regularly referenced as in crisis—be tapped in our problem-solving quest?

Civil Communications Now

I think so. Therefore, I add my voice to the call-for-civility chorus. We need to be civil communicators now, perhaps as never before.

Let’s first get to some definitions. “Civility” is “politeness and courtesy in behavior or speech…good manners…civilized conduct.” It’s rooted in Latin: “civis” means “citizen” while “civilis” means “befitting a citizen.” There are three core elements to civility: respect, relations with others including strangers, and self-regulation, so as to curtail immediate self-interest when appropriate.

Conversely, “incivility” is social behavior lacking in civility or good manners, on a scale from rudeness to a lack of respect. Incivility is being discourteous, to display a lack of regard for others, using insulting comments, spreading false rumors and being disruptive.

Beyond Politics

There are abundant examples over time, in recent years, this year, this month, maybe even at this very moment, of incivility across the political spectrum. Results from a March 2019 NPR/PBS Newshour/Marist poll showed a majority of Americans characterized incivility as a major problem and that the country’s deepening civility crisis would lead to violence.

But incivility, sadly, goes way beyond politics. The Harvard Business Review in 2013 documented the “costs of incivility” in business. The findings in HBR’s poll of 800 managers and employees in 17 industries showed that of workers who’ve experienced incivility:

• 80% lost work time worrying about the incident
• 78% said that their commitment to the organization declined
• 66% said their work performance declined
• 63% lost work time avoiding the offender
• 48% intentionally decreased their work effort
• 47% intentionally decreased the time spent at work
• 38% intentionally decreased the quality of their work.

Amp Up Respect

Whether in political or business circles, perhaps even elementary school classes or world-class think tanks, isn’t way more civility way overdue? Turn down the disruption, and amp up the respect. Put aside self-interest. Aim for common ground, compromise, answers to problems, achievable solutions. Actively listen without knowing. Gain understanding.

Why am I harping on civility now? As a CommunicationsContentConnections professional, civility always has been important to me. This time it’s personal. I want hear, see, read about, and be moved by great communicators. I want to show and tell my grandchildren about individuals who are role models of civil discourse, those who can and do effectively and persuasively communicate the written, spoken and Tweeted word and image. I want to celebrate people who attentively listen and carefully, sensitively, respectfully choose their words as they solve problems, lead our organizations, serve our country and participate “befitting a citizen.”

As George Washington put it in his publication “Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation, “…every action done in company ought to be with some sign of respect, to those that are present.”

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